Break Down and Patch up..

Hii Dude,

It feels very good to be back doesn't it?..Before you read this, just go back and read "Me in conversation with myself" and then start this.Now that you have read that , You might think why not the other post which he showed to me in college today...Let's make it more interesting..I will give you a random excerpts from that article for now..rest we can see the rest as time proceeds..

1) Who told rape was only physical..I had a mental rape that day..Yes,you raped me by my thoughts and I didn't know you had such voyeuristic desires.

2) It was like my mind caught in a mindstrom and figuring out a way to come out of it was very hard,I tell you.You could've made me naked in front of a crowd and I'd feel less ashamed about myself  when compared with this.

I got very upset that day when you told "I must've known where to draw the line".I was like "Look at you trying to make her as circle of your life and her trying to draw an invisible line". I am sure you had your own justifications for telling it.That line, my dear,made me thinking a lot and I read 4 books in a span of 3 days.You were very pretty during farewell and I thought of taking a pic with you.I remember telling myself not to search for you anywhere in crowd but the moment I saw Joshith I knew you'd be there and I was not able to stop my eyes from searching for you.I also had a moment of happiness when I saw we both were wearing same color(Ok..Ok..Almost similar) dresses.But even after that incident,I thought I will not talk to you from then on.I tell you these scents and memories are very powerful.I was like "Why should I be the one who will talk to her first..One me was telling "Leave all these and go talk to her I'm sure she did not mean it in dark twisted way you think" while to other me was like "Shut up..you're the one spoiling him..See ..she also sees you're not talking with her and I'm sure she doesn't miss you or your non-sense prophecies.I did not even know you tried talking with me with the topic of bonafide.I tried the my friend's model of not talking to that specific person but talking to anyone or everyone who is around.But For a man who has lost everything in those dark flaring eyes of your's ignoring you was as difficult as it is for a candle to ignore the fire.I was able to hold on to it till today.I see you laughing and thinking why is this guy talking to everyone but not me?.Is he trying to tell something to me or should I just wait for sometime?.Reading my blog was a good thought of your's I can tell but my drafts are all drafts till the right person comes and both of us choose to publish it.But these three days,I've thought a lot about us and it helped me gain an insider view of things which I think you will see as the time passes.Can you believe I spent most of time today thinking when we'll talk with her..In period or in break or when you were just sitting outside after answering the OM questionnaire(or test IDK!!).Finally when the moment came,who else than Radz/mom to patch up things..I like the way she tries to guess things and gets it wrong most of the time.But I tell you I suppose only two types of people do not look into eyes of a person directly.One who is trying to hide a lie and someone who is trying to hide a love.Which type I was these two days is upto you to find and tell me.