Nothing but thoughts

Hii Dude,

I don't even know what to write.But I cannot be like this for long time.It is killing me from inside.I'm getting continuous headaches and crying like a child and becoming a mad person.If this continues my performance will really start to go down.I do not know what I can tell to you so that you will agree but at least till the time we are here talk to me and allow me to talk to you like before.I do not know what kind of a person I am becoming because of this.Abuse me,hate me or do whatever you want but do not be like this with me.I am not able to take it and it is paining , both literally and figuratively.I have no idea of knowing how you feel about this.Fuck,I am not able to hate you also.It's like being stuck in an endless loop and it has really started to affect my daily routine.I get dreams and nightmares about you and me talking,fighting and all. I've become like an alcohol addict who works in a wine shop.When I was talking to you,nothing else was on my mind but now that I am not talking this is the only thing that is constantly spinning on and on.I've stopped thinking about anything else.I do not know what to do now.This is getting very bad and out of control these days and If I see you daily not talking to you is very very tough and how can I ignore someone on the outside when it is only them I think of on the Inside? What you thought is happening to me if you talk to me is happening now and I cannot even control it.I do not want it to be like this but I'm sure of this.Till now in my life I might have not had that much friends but I've never felt lonely.I know the difference between being lonely and alone.These days I feel like i'm the only one in this world and you know how much I magnify thoughts and feelings.Even Krishna is asking to me why I am not talking to him properly these days.Hell,the only person I'm talking to is myself and keep on thinking what could be done to improve this and to overcome this.I was not like this before and I do not know how to do this.I know you think of me like some prick who never understands what he is told and keeps on torturing you to talk and all.I have not asked like this to anyone in my life and I do not think if i'll do in future also.I know Creating problems as if they are all going to happen is something which I excel at but I do not consider everything is going to happen or not.You might think only this guy can write an entire blogpost to coerce me to talk to him but what I am asking to you is be with me because I do not know what else to tell or do or anything....!!!!

Empty Ness everywhere

Hii Dude,
I'm not even sure I can call you by that name now.Where is the girl who used to talk to me like before..I ask myself.What is the point of writing a blog when you are not willing to read it also ..I thought I wrote only for you but I was dumb enough necer to know what you actually thought about these posts.Now what will I do ..can I stop people from speaking or thinking is something which I can't think of.But you , I thought you'll understand that and you know me better than what other's say.But we both know it is your base character coming out in stressful situations like these.You could've asked me my life instead of asking me to stop talking to u.But  alas,you always manage to get the best and worst out of me so effortlessly.who am I to stop you from your decision to talk to me,right
?..it better be right. . at least one of us will be happy.how was your exam . How's the preparation going ..these
Are
All the
Questions I want to ask u daily..but a poor soul like me still hasn't learn to share emotions either with a stranger or even best friends who are often not there at times of need ..!!..Maybe I was too dependent on you..what is the use of this blog if you don't read or me livin if you're not there.  Cmon dude..don't be stupid ..it happens to people all the time . Maybe  or maybe not but how can a person be like me..!!..,at times I think I've lost sanity .. it'll be better and im so bad that I don't even qualify to be your friend.Shes is not even ready to give her friendship,you poor asshole aren't u ashamed of asking her again and again. !!  just go and die somewhere ..Okey . But if I die my loVe fr u will) also be crushed na ..So no thoughts like  that .how u made fun of me  nd ,how excited I was when u told we'll go for Jan we met s ehal.. what happened in the end ..lol ..