Face to Face us and the face to face others.

Hii Dude,

I always tell people there is a gap between knowing and understanding.Sometimes I tell that to myself also.Everyone who thinks who knows me doesn't understand me.I suppose that includes many people here.And I'm in no position to tell that you understand me completely.But we are moving towards that,I hope.Let me tell you one thing dude..All people have different faces and you cannot show all the faces to everyone.Whatever happens between us,is between us sometimes it must be within us also.No third person must be allowed to Dictate how we behave and the way we want to take things forward.I know you've been a people's person before and be like that itself and do not turn into people's pleaser. It's a deadly trap we often set for ourselves.A people pleaser aims to make others happy in exchange for being liked and being approved of.It is like telling I am interested in one thing(you know,I'm so good) while trying to obtain another(I want people to like me always).It doesn't make you independent or selfless.It just puts you in a place of manipulation.When you act like that what you are trying to do is attempting to control emotions of others.Listening to something someone has told about us and expecting people are waiting in line to tell things about us is more imaginative than what I write here.Different people want different things sometimes same person also wants different things.Do you want to do these things at the danger of erasing yourself?..You lose your personality , preferences and identity in this pursuit of getting approval from people who do not even understand themselves at the first place and then understand you and are erratic by nature.This is when you feel so lost and Do not know what you want and start disliking people around you.People won't like you but they'll like the validation you are providing and realizing this will hurt you even more.I totally understand how much you got hurt because he told like that.This is when you be more strong and do not succumb to the points of views of some other person.Trust me,I've been thinking from yesterday how to write this with the help of a fictional story and I'm not able to do it.I feel like my creative process is being chocked by something else.That is the reason why this post has no stories and elevations.What is there is being written here plainly without any alterations.The things which I tell to you are the ones which I cannot imagine of telling to someone else. You've succeeded in pulling me out of my comfort zone but if this happens I'll go to a place more deeper than that.Imagine a rubber band being pulled to maximum extent and left suddenly.If there is something wrong with me or we have a problem you are always welcome to bring it up without any second thought or feeling.This time I'll conclude with one favorite line of your's as I feel it will be apt for this situation

                                          "For you,A thousand times Over"

Adventures of Mowgli-Magical Realism-Part II

Hii Dude,

It has been long time since I've written any post.Initial days I wrote when I was happy or sad.So what happens when I was very happy or very sad,Well you  know the answer.The answer is that I'll tell it to you directly.These days I've been extremely happy and I do not know if you've observed it or not.It is a very thing to notice,I tell you.So when I thought of writing something now,I decided to continue Our Mowgli's journey.Now that Mowgli has met Aphro,after a lot of persuasion they decide to go on a small adventure like thing. Aphro always takes her sweet time to decide when to go out and Mowgli also is very persistent when he wants to be.
"I don't know.I've been doing all the works from morning and I'm very tired" Aphro told
"I understand dude.But all I'm asking for is just a small walk to a village called mind,which is like a stone's throw from here" told Mowgli
"You never listen to what I tell,do you?"She asked
"No dear,I always make it a point to go through whatever you tell with a sane mind and then decide whether to accept them or not" he told.
"So it's all about you and your stories,is it" she told
"But you are the Center of my entire universe na" he told
"I don't want to be the center of anyone's universe,I need to be independent" she told
"Ofcourse,you can be whatever you want" he told her.
Mowgli was having the feeling that something was not good right from the start of this trip.Something had happened to her when she was stuffing cotton dolls sometime back.All she wanted to do was become independent,as though it was easy as getting pregnant.Anyone can have sex and get pregnant but only few are ready for the after effects.So he wanted to leave her at her own  pace and maybe help her.He was pretty sure she would'nt listen to him
"There is this village called mind,we'll stop there for tonight" he told her
"Who names a village mind?Anyways only for one night I will accept" she told.
The Village of Mind was as exactly as the way he had learnt about it.It was very complex from the outside but once you understood it it turned out to be pretty simple.
After getting a nice accommodation,they decided to explore the village.
Right in the center of village,they saw three rocks of varying sizes and shapes with a pathway leading to some place unknown.It had a mirror beneath it and someone was standing behind them and pushing.Funny , how these rocks rest on Mirrors,Aphro thought.
All they had to do was push the rocks from one place to another.
Some were able to push the rock to a certain point and others were not even able to move it even an inch.It puzzled them and when Aphro saw those rocks,she was shocked to find that the three issues which had been bothering her from quite sometime and the people responsible for them were standing behind those rocks and pushing.Initially she did not want to help them move the rocks but with help of Mowgli she was able to move them from one hole to another.The Villagers called these "Thought-holes"."Funny,it is exactly like my mind" Aphro thought.
"Everytime you move this rock from one hole to another you see yourself in the mirror and you reach to the other person who gave you this trouble and as you go along the path the rock becomes smaller.It becomes so small that it disappears completely" told the caretaker there.
People called him as emotion.
"But can't I move this rock alone,afterall it is just a rock"Aphro asked
"My dear child,There are some rocks in which you can do that,but not all rocks can be moved alone"told emotions.
"So I need the help of someone who understands me very well and I need your(Emotion's) help so that I can do that.Right?"she asked.
"Well,you get the gist of it" told emotions and looked at Mowgli
"I'm ready to move whatever rocks you want just to clear the way for you.I do not understand this complex things and all"Mowgli told
"But remember sometimes it's the rock or the person who is behind it that you do not want other people to see.When helping you,they will see only your reflection in the mirror but not the person who is behind it until after a certain point when you want me to see them" quipped Emotions.
"The first step is always the hardest"told emotions.
"Well,then how do you move it from one thought hole to another?"asked Aphro
"My dear girl,It's not as easy as it seems,you use the power of magic to do that.It's all inside you" Emotions told  her.
"Well,let me try,we'll see and what do you called that kind of magic which moves rocks here?" Aphro asked.
"Let's get this started.It is called as Maaya,which means Magic,my love" Mowgli told and started to move the first rock. 

Parents and parenting

Namaskar,

Who are you?
Who am I?
Who named you Vinitha?
Who gave me my name?

You're here I'm here , we're reading this and I'm writing this and all of this is only possible because of our parents.

Many times I've thought children are such a pain and bringing them out to this world is as laborious process as nurturing and growing them up.Just imagine what would've happened if our parents also would've thought the same way.?

You had told me a long time ago to write a post on parents but I did not hear that till today when someone else had to tell me the same thing in a different manner and ofcourse some recent incidents laid a foundation for this.Before I start further,One last and Sincere Apology for not meeting your mom and no matter how much I tell things once happened cannot be changed.So Forgive my thoughts and hopefully me in the process.

Just imagine having one child and attending to it's needs day and night no matter what.It will disturb you during night times,shout at times when you least expect it to do.Slowly you start understanding and interpreting it's cries and happiness.When something makes the child happy,you show it again and again with the only hope of seeing that smile all from the beginning.Right from the day one till this moment if there is something that has never changed and will never change in future it is the care and concern our parents shower on us.Plant a seed and see a tree grow , the amount of satisfaction you get is immeasurable.If becoming a parent is something god-sent then nurturing a child must be sent from other galaxies.First and foremost,I am very grateful to my parents and your parents for being there along the way.I can tell you one thing,No one else in this world can match the love and affection that we get from our parents.Now,parents are one thing and parenting itself is another thing.How would you as a parent know that my child is good and honest and I've brought him/her up well as per my standards and society is ready to accept him/her with open hands?.Unfortunately there is no way to measure how much influence parent's have on their children and the extent to which environment plays a very vital role.While we are happy to inherit some of our characteristics from our parents,there are times when we wish somethings could've been left behind and this can be felt only if you are a parent.You see your child having similar tastes and behavior like you and feel very happy but what if your child makes the same mistake you did when you were a child.Some things never change,Do they?.How can any person love someone unconditionally all the time and without expecting anything in return?.

Did she eat well in the afternoon?

Did he sleep well today?

Today I am doing your favorite dish and it is going to make you feel a lot better.

You do not like this dish,Ok then No one else is going to have this dish from now on in our house.I will tell your father not to buy this vegetable from now on.

You like that dish very much,no problem even if there is nothing left for me.Take it.

Oh,that girl hurt you in college today.Do not worry,I will talk to teacher tomorrow.you were a brave girl today.Now come to mummy and sleep.

Come here and tell me what happened in school today.How was your day?

Imagine a tree with only two fruits with roots and branches spread deep into the earth.You take the fruits thinking both are from the same tree so they must taste the same and must have color and appearance.While in formation,though both were formed from the same seed they are never alike.Ask the one who has planted the seed he will tell which is his/her favorite.If there is a clear winner even in similar fruits,imagine how our parents must've felt on seeing our brother/sister.But they never ever make us feel that way.My mom used to tell my two children are like my two eyes how can you ask which is the one I prefer the most? There is no such thing in this world as a "Bad parent" in the same way there is no "impure raindrop".Understanding the similarities and differences between the two children to whom she had given birth without asking or letting the children know that is the most difficult job and all the parents deserve a nobel prize just for doing that till this very moment.Thinking about parenthood makes me nostalgic and motherhood is something that can never be explained fully unless experienced.I called my mom today and thanked her for bringing me into this world and my father for being there till this day.There is a reason the term "Family tree" came into existence.I'm sure the one who had formulated that had got the idea from the tree which has it's root and branches spread like our mother's affection and the leaves which nurture and protect the fruit from all external difficulties like rain and storm,just the way our father's do all the time and expect nothing from the fruit in return for all of these and one day go into the mud finally after spending entire lifetime in a very short span of time.We can never repay the debt we owe them and no parent expects that.All we can do is give them our love and affection and understand them in the same way they understood us when we ourselves didn't even know the reason why we were smiling/laughing...!!!!!

PS:- Give all the love to them and I'll call by 10 for some.

Apologies my Aphro..Look whls back..no one othe tgan mee

Hii dude,,,

I love youuu more than what I show or what I tell.this is yet again a post but whatever I write in post is very very close to my heart and is meant for you and only you to read.There is one thing dude..I feel like someone is crawling inside my skin when you call me by my name.And I'm sure you do know what kind of person I am without any filters or anything.You can't possibly know about me more than anyone else and anything else.So don't make me do thibggs na .. I'll become very angry dude and I have very erratic mood swings ..Did u know how much I wanted to talk to you today and see you talk lot to u but this stupid people don't give us that space and that's what exactly happened today eve also .And today eve you were gorgeous dude..I tell u that .compare to u in beauty and where am I like an emperor and a pauper.I honesrly want to talk to your mom today before she leaves to Coimbatore and I don't care where and how I'm gonna meet her . You know what's the awkward part is ..I don't know what to tell to her dude..I don't know what to tell in a weeding , if somebody gives berth to a baby and someone dies also.Because it doesn't come at all.But I'm very sorry over what happened today . I don't know ow dude when you don't talk I feel like I've lost something ..silly me na.But still I never ever wanted to hurt you but I was angry over you not telling me that ,2 rs matter .I don't know what ever the issue is but it made me kind of angry and the way today passed was not what I expected.Hell,I'm becoming like a ukg kid waiting to sit next to me crush in school and crying over Sully things.I wanted to talk about all these badly and some WhatsApp fucking call problem happedned.I just want to go a long walk with you as long as sun exists.And one more thing.....Deepak is there and he's asking what's up with Anni..I mean no one else has right to ask about us or you.Youre the only priority and Sorry from my heart ...
I loveeee uuuu duuude
Hope tmrw turns out wellllll

Mowgli's Adventures--Magical Realism--I

It was a quite warm evening where the birds were either flying away to get their food or flying away after getting their food i.e to their nests. ”Look at these birds, flying freely in the sky. What will the birds think if they saw us humans looking at them? Maybe all of us are just birds. Yes, we all want to fly freely in our mind which is as vast as the sky and use our thoughts-as our wings which often help us to fly” Mowgli thought to himself as he saw a flock of birds rode towards the sunset. He was sitting along the sea, which he considered as his second home. Maybe he considered the turbulence of the waves crashing the shore as the thoughts crashing in his mind and it gave him a nice warm feeling beyond explanation. It was the second time he came here in a shorter span of time and each time he came he would bring some complicated questions and get some answers while many answers were yet to find their questions. 

”I wish I’d take on step into the sea, maybe I will melt right into the waves and maybe all my questions will get answered to”

To know what happened to out beloved Mowgli we’d have to go back to a month or two from today.

There are many small unnoticed things which give us the feeling of satisfaction and orderliness. Remove them and our life would start to appear meaning less. Some things must be left how they are how insignificant they may appear at that moment. The beast which he had troubled them had finally disappeared, maybe for the short span of time. Mowgli felt something was not good and did not even tell to Aphro that he was leaving for a new place. Some other fight had got into the way and he thought she had deserved that though looking back he was ashamed of himself. Nothing would boost him up like a walk and a drink with his Aphro. Having said that he had gotten to work in a company which specialized in moment of goods from one place to another and it had started with an “S”. To pass his time he had to work in a jungle without any expectations in return. But Aphro had gotten very lucky and she had gotten work in a place where they specialized in making cotton dolls, stuffing dolls with cotton to match the user requirement. Something to go with appearance , she had told him. Many times he thought of going to her place and surprising her.As luck would have it , she never liked any surprises. Maybe she was the kind who wanted to keep the safety bed ready incase something was to fall of from the sky, eventhough it was a surprise.It is one of the ways in which people keep their expectations low,he had heard.Things were going fine in between them and as usual he managed to sneak out all his free time and talk to her.She was the only beacon of light in that jungle of his.But it so happened one day that they had gotten into a nasty spat and they stopped talking. Ofcourse, he was not normal. Now he can’t speak on behalf of her, can he ?.Many times he wanted to go to the place where he was working and sort out the issue with her. But he always wanted to make sure that his actions did not hurt her so he didn’t go back.Days passed and it had been exactly one month from today that they had had this quarrel and so he came back to the place where he seeked answers for all questions. He wrote what he thought in a leaf and left it to float along the sea in the hope that maybe if she was also looking for the same,she would know his side of arguments.

“Pouring entire thoughts on her

And making her my future girl

Without asking what she needed”

Luckily he got a reply back from her asking “What is pouring?”

He got very happy and all the thoughts of discomfort had disappeared and he was just as happy as a newborn to get that message from her.

He wanted to see her badly as an addict waiting for his fix or as the words waiting for the alphabets.

He’d ask her that he had to meet her today for which she told that it was impossible and maybe they could meet in a public place tomorrow.

“I have come out with an important person and they’ve come here only to help me” she told him.

"Okey,I'll also come along if you need help I'll give a pound of blood too" he thought.

“Maybe I’d come and surprise them as well” he thought

 “Is there anything else more impossible that us?” he laughed like a mad man and went to have dinner at a favorite hangout of his.But he had thousand questions to ask her even if he won’t get the answers.Maybe give her a nice hug and tight slap or nice slap and a tight hug,whatever.But when he meets her tomorrow morning he’d expect her to answer an simple question,atleast the first one.

“What was the name of the Company in which he was working with,he had told this earlier to her.In a way he thought it was a major contributor to his miseries,Ofcourse no one can beat Aphro,Can they or will he allow them?”

Writings on the wall - Embarking into 2nd phase of PGDM

Hii To-Whomsoever-It-May-Concern,

It has been a long time since I've heard anything from you.I suppose it is futile now telling about how I feel and some thoughts want to kill the other one's and all that.I am making a wild ass guess that you have got a new phone and have completed your internship.Don't forget the certificate and letter of recommendation.I would've told it is important than the certificate but you need not talk to me citing that as a potential cause.I suppose you saw the 2nd Semester results.Congrats dude.You have really improved from last time.I do not know if you saw my marks or not. I've also managed to get some good score if that pleases you. Yaaay!!,I'm very happy for us But I cannot speak for you , can I ?.These days just pass by me or rather I must say flow by me in an un-interesting manner the way a dried leaf floats it way to the sea.Did you know I thought of quitting this course and not coming to Bangalore at all for 2nd year.But what is a war without a few scars na dude..!..So,here I am in the same hostel where I used to speak all night with you in that junkyard piece phone of your's much to the scrutiny of my roommate.One day he also asked me "Gautham,you are not reading like last semester.Looks like you attention is diverting now-a-days."What would have I told for that..?.I used to most fanciful weapon of yours."Laugh"(Oh How much I miss it now!!).But to be truthful the results even surprise me.I mean if Radz got it she deserves but Me-I'm not so sure about that.I'm just sitting in my room and thinking what to do and every single moment a thought crosses my mind.Why are you waiting for her to text.She has other works maybe she got busy and she's not like you,always thinking of her and spending your days.Be brave and start texting her back na.But Again,that's what happens always isn't it.My Internship is over and I got the certificate also.I packed my things and left to Bangalore. It so happened that I started getting emotional just like last time.By this time you must've gotten fed up of me telling like this.But I suppose it's always like this for me.Very very fragile interior.Coming out of comfort zone and talking to people and all and when they don't see it what happens,Simple.I go back a bit deeper into my comfort zone.Remember elasticity,just like that pulling a rubber band on one side also has the danger of it going back with same force in opposite direction when left.Like a tortoise which retreats into it's shell perhaps.But still,I tell you it's not a fault of your's.It's all my problem only.Maybe I must've diversified to reduce the risk like they do in mutual funds.It never happens,does it?.Even now also While coming in the bus , I go a trip down the lane both literally and metaphorically.I come at one place and remember our late night chats.I cross townhall and see you waiting there and we discussing to take an auto(pronounced as outo) or a bus and when a auto man asks us "Which Lodge?".Who needs a lodge when you have a lodge like set up that too a moving one with a lot of bumps and humps(Did I mention the Curves and brakes) for a low cost and fully air conditioned one not to mention the full protection also.In AnandRao circle,searching for the bus and seeing my bus from the below flyover.Getting ready to talk till the signal drops :).Reaching Mathikere and remembering the Color riddle and having a laugh about your nails and you not being able to write in exams due to that.How happy was I on those days..!?!.
I totally forgot what I wanted to tell.
Welcome to 2nd year and the most important semester of this course.I wish you success like your HR capabilities and failures like me.But I am only mine.Stupid of me to tell like this.All the best dude and Rock On.
I still do not know what to tell to you when I meet you on 12th.Fuck I do not even know if you'll come or not on that day.I,well want to give you a nice sweet hug and a tight slap,in that order.But I'll probably tell a Hii and leave at that.Time to Disappear behind the Hii's and How are you's.I feel like going to college for the first time except we have written two semesters and got results also.I also wish things will . Will what?..you fucker ? 

Before I conclude,I'm off to Kollur again,This time with even more complicated questions and answers.

Today morning while coming I saw two average paintings(gifting idea's,maybe) of cat and sachin tendulkar.Both of them had a drawing and had the words CAT and SACHIN written on the left.
For the first one I saw the CAT-writing before seeing the painting and
For the next one I saw the painting before the SACHIN-writing.
Guess what was the difference.
When I saw the writing first,I got a clue and saw the CAT eventhough it was an average painting I was willing to see the writing and fit the image in my mind
but when it came to SACHIN I had to see the painting first writing next and come back to painting again to make my mind accept that it was Sachin Indeed.
Now just imagining what would be the writing in my wall.
I would see it the CAT way..from left to right and you would see it the SACHIN way from right to left way.
                                                     
                                                    This would be the writing

                                     "LOVE - RELATIONSHIP"