Influence of Opinions,sometimes with Options

Hii Darling,

I've loved you
I love you
I will love you.

I did not want to give that title to this post but I felt it was the only apt one which I could give.Yesterday I thought too many times about what is happening here and the Opinions of others to which we should never give a flying fuck no matter what happens.If you think that it's because of you I am not performing well,I'm sorry dude your notion is entirely wrong.How I perform and why I perform that way is entirely upto me and it is me who needs to have last thoughts about this and no one else,that includes you also upto a certain degree.Sit back and think of all these,if we accept what you are telling is true.

Have you ever told me to spend time with you and only you?
Did u tell me to call at nights or text you always?
Did u ask me to write the posts?
Did u tell me to give you gifts?
Remember the first gift I gave you,nail polish remover..Who told me to do that?..What was my intention behind giving that?..The answer to this question is there was no intention.
Did u ask me to teach Ops or BRM?
Did u call me for long walks and deep talks?
Did u fight with me over small unimportant things?
Did u ever ask me to stop drinking and call you ?
Did u call me to Nandi hills or movies at any point of time?
Did u ask me to observe your hair,smell,nail polish and even the small bruises you get?
Have you ever asked me why I get more marks than you ?

You might think all of these do not make sense but do me a favour and replace all the "Did you's" with "I did" and it all makes perfect sense.
Even now also if you think this is what happens,we definitely need to have a talk not because I want to convince you but to make you understand how important you are to me over all the other things in my life

Boundaries-Day and night-Mowgli and Aphro

Hii Dearest,
The time when evening becomes night is my most favorite time of the day.The times when I get to witness that without any disturbance will be considered as "A day with more productivity" by my standards.What is so special about this , you might ask.Judging by the things I've been telling you all this time, even if I tell that I was an Egyptian emperor in last birth,you would believe and then think not think and then believe.Thats a story for another day, but Translation from day to night makes many things lose their identity and some things to gain identity.There are some things which are visible only during night times,like stars and then there are things which make themselves visible only during the night time,hi-fi to my friend moon over there!! how much ever we try can we look at the stars during the daytime or enjoy the warm glow the moon light offers during day time.Unfortunate , but some things are like that.
Yes, Alright but how are these and boundaries related duude ?
Isn't this typical you relating to things only you want to relate yourself to ignoring the others !! ?
What you think might be true to an extent but there is always a relationship,but not complicated as ours.
We'll come to boundaries now.
Once upon a Time our Mowgli and Aphro were talking and Mowgli couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong.He had always trusted his instincts and asked Aphro what was wrong.As they neared a village,They decided to stay in a place where they had some mutual friends of both.In that village he saw a shop which sold writings of a famous blogger on a leaf and decided to surprise her.So he bought the one which had a beautiful poem which went like "You are the reader...".But when he went to her and gave the leaf , she wouldn't accept it.This really hurt Mowgli and upon further enquiry she told him that there was a big bad wolf which ate all the gifts she got.It came out only at night times and in her difficult times making them even worse.As it was a nice day for a little walk Mowgli decided to find that wolf and solve the problem till the end.She also warned him that since in this village people know everyone and everything , there were quicksands that pulled people deep inside them during difficult times and she really did not want him to go digging around for wolves.But does Mowgli listen to anyone, especially when it comes to Aphro ?..Nope.So he ventured to find the wolf.It was a nice day when he started his journey but as he went deeper into the problem night started creeping out and by the time it was dark,Mowgli heard a wolf trying to scare someone who was already in a quicksand pit.On getting further closer he was shocked to find the person was the one whom he'd not expected.It was Aphro.
"What are you doing here!?" said Mowgli
"I'm trying to scare the wolf away" she said
"Just great.But looks like you're the one caught in a Quagmire here,dear" said Mowgli
"Shut up.its not like that.If not like this,when will I learn.This has to happen someday na" she told
"Moreover you're here only because you heard the wolf,you didn't know it was me.since it is night time you found me so soon" she quipped
"Oh Dear,I didn't come here due to the wolf or since it is night.I simply followed you to know what happened to my gifts" Mowgli told
"There was a big bad wolf,agreed but it is you who is feeding all my gifts in the hope that it will  leave you" Mowgli told
"See where that has brought you"Mowgli told
"You don't get it that's how it works for me" she told
"I get it because it's you and the gift is mine"Mowgli told
"So what will you do to the wolf once you pull me from here" she asked
"Simple on top , complicated in bottom.like a tempest in a tea cup"Mowgli told
"Oh you and your lines,better drown me in this quicksand"
"Haha..There are wolves and there are wolves that scare you.Others can be left alone.But for those which scare you,I have two options"
"What are those?" She asked as she came up from the pit and felt slightly better now.
"Well, it's very simple.Destroy the wolf or create a new Quagmire"Mowgli told
"See,I don't want you to hurt the wolf coz of me and you're here crossing all the boundaries" she told
"Oh trust me,you really do not know the wolf I'm feeding and boundaries not only limit things,they also bring more focus" told Mowgli and howled like a wolf.
"I just hope I never land in a Quagmire of wolves"Aphro thought to herself and set off into the bright beautiful day !!!

You-Yes Only U

Hii Duude,

I was just thinking what to write for a while and then I remembered It has been a long time I have written about you.Now writing about you can be a bit tricky.How much ever I write about you I always feel there is more to explore so I just allow my thoughts to touch the shore but not deep into the sea bed.We never know what creature lurks behind the comfortable mud holes.I honestly do not know whether you feel like that about yourself.Having said that there is a poem which forms the crux of this post.Here it goes...

You are the reader who likes mistakes in the post she is reading
You are the narrator who infuses new life into whatever you tell
You are the influencer who can move my thoughts like a flower in a storm
You are the girl who likes to be independent in whatever you do but fail to understand it starts with a small amount of dependency
You are "my dude" to whom I can tell everything without any fear or judgement
You are one amongst few people who can play with emotions like a child does with her toys
You are the only person to whom I look upto no matter what the situation is
You are the one to whom I would love to give troubles and then save you from them without any second thought
You are the one whom I will never make to fall unless I am there to catch you
You are the one who makes me feel like I'm living in a dream from which I never want to wake up and now the rest of world does not matter as much as it used to
You and me are the only things that matter and all the other life's problems are smaller than once they were
All I ever want to do is just take your hand and walk you through my dreams just to show you that what I still live for is only you and me !!  

Face to Face us and the face to face others.

Hii Dude,

I always tell people there is a gap between knowing and understanding.Sometimes I tell that to myself also.Everyone who thinks who knows me doesn't understand me.I suppose that includes many people here.And I'm in no position to tell that you understand me completely.But we are moving towards that,I hope.Let me tell you one thing dude..All people have different faces and you cannot show all the faces to everyone.Whatever happens between us,is between us sometimes it must be within us also.No third person must be allowed to Dictate how we behave and the way we want to take things forward.I know you've been a people's person before and be like that itself and do not turn into people's pleaser. It's a deadly trap we often set for ourselves.A people pleaser aims to make others happy in exchange for being liked and being approved of.It is like telling I am interested in one thing(you know,I'm so good) while trying to obtain another(I want people to like me always).It doesn't make you independent or selfless.It just puts you in a place of manipulation.When you act like that what you are trying to do is attempting to control emotions of others.Listening to something someone has told about us and expecting people are waiting in line to tell things about us is more imaginative than what I write here.Different people want different things sometimes same person also wants different things.Do you want to do these things at the danger of erasing yourself?..You lose your personality , preferences and identity in this pursuit of getting approval from people who do not even understand themselves at the first place and then understand you and are erratic by nature.This is when you feel so lost and Do not know what you want and start disliking people around you.People won't like you but they'll like the validation you are providing and realizing this will hurt you even more.I totally understand how much you got hurt because he told like that.This is when you be more strong and do not succumb to the points of views of some other person.Trust me,I've been thinking from yesterday how to write this with the help of a fictional story and I'm not able to do it.I feel like my creative process is being chocked by something else.That is the reason why this post has no stories and elevations.What is there is being written here plainly without any alterations.The things which I tell to you are the ones which I cannot imagine of telling to someone else. You've succeeded in pulling me out of my comfort zone but if this happens I'll go to a place more deeper than that.Imagine a rubber band being pulled to maximum extent and left suddenly.If there is something wrong with me or we have a problem you are always welcome to bring it up without any second thought or feeling.This time I'll conclude with one favorite line of your's as I feel it will be apt for this situation

                                          "For you,A thousand times Over"

Adventures of Mowgli-Magical Realism-Part II

Hii Dude,

It has been long time since I've written any post.Initial days I wrote when I was happy or sad.So what happens when I was very happy or very sad,Well you  know the answer.The answer is that I'll tell it to you directly.These days I've been extremely happy and I do not know if you've observed it or not.It is a very thing to notice,I tell you.So when I thought of writing something now,I decided to continue Our Mowgli's journey.Now that Mowgli has met Aphro,after a lot of persuasion they decide to go on a small adventure like thing. Aphro always takes her sweet time to decide when to go out and Mowgli also is very persistent when he wants to be.
"I don't know.I've been doing all the works from morning and I'm very tired" Aphro told
"I understand dude.But all I'm asking for is just a small walk to a village called mind,which is like a stone's throw from here" told Mowgli
"You never listen to what I tell,do you?"She asked
"No dear,I always make it a point to go through whatever you tell with a sane mind and then decide whether to accept them or not" he told.
"So it's all about you and your stories,is it" she told
"But you are the Center of my entire universe na" he told
"I don't want to be the center of anyone's universe,I need to be independent" she told
"Ofcourse,you can be whatever you want" he told her.
Mowgli was having the feeling that something was not good right from the start of this trip.Something had happened to her when she was stuffing cotton dolls sometime back.All she wanted to do was become independent,as though it was easy as getting pregnant.Anyone can have sex and get pregnant but only few are ready for the after effects.So he wanted to leave her at her own  pace and maybe help her.He was pretty sure she would'nt listen to him
"There is this village called mind,we'll stop there for tonight" he told her
"Who names a village mind?Anyways only for one night I will accept" she told.
The Village of Mind was as exactly as the way he had learnt about it.It was very complex from the outside but once you understood it it turned out to be pretty simple.
After getting a nice accommodation,they decided to explore the village.
Right in the center of village,they saw three rocks of varying sizes and shapes with a pathway leading to some place unknown.It had a mirror beneath it and someone was standing behind them and pushing.Funny , how these rocks rest on Mirrors,Aphro thought.
All they had to do was push the rocks from one place to another.
Some were able to push the rock to a certain point and others were not even able to move it even an inch.It puzzled them and when Aphro saw those rocks,she was shocked to find that the three issues which had been bothering her from quite sometime and the people responsible for them were standing behind those rocks and pushing.Initially she did not want to help them move the rocks but with help of Mowgli she was able to move them from one hole to another.The Villagers called these "Thought-holes"."Funny,it is exactly like my mind" Aphro thought.
"Everytime you move this rock from one hole to another you see yourself in the mirror and you reach to the other person who gave you this trouble and as you go along the path the rock becomes smaller.It becomes so small that it disappears completely" told the caretaker there.
People called him as emotion.
"But can't I move this rock alone,afterall it is just a rock"Aphro asked
"My dear child,There are some rocks in which you can do that,but not all rocks can be moved alone"told emotions.
"So I need the help of someone who understands me very well and I need your(Emotion's) help so that I can do that.Right?"she asked.
"Well,you get the gist of it" told emotions and looked at Mowgli
"I'm ready to move whatever rocks you want just to clear the way for you.I do not understand this complex things and all"Mowgli told
"But remember sometimes it's the rock or the person who is behind it that you do not want other people to see.When helping you,they will see only your reflection in the mirror but not the person who is behind it until after a certain point when you want me to see them" quipped Emotions.
"The first step is always the hardest"told emotions.
"Well,then how do you move it from one thought hole to another?"asked Aphro
"My dear girl,It's not as easy as it seems,you use the power of magic to do that.It's all inside you" Emotions told  her.
"Well,let me try,we'll see and what do you called that kind of magic which moves rocks here?" Aphro asked.
"Let's get this started.It is called as Maaya,which means Magic,my love" Mowgli told and started to move the first rock. 

Parents and parenting

Namaskar,

Who are you?
Who am I?
Who named you Vinitha?
Who gave me my name?

You're here I'm here , we're reading this and I'm writing this and all of this is only possible because of our parents.

Many times I've thought children are such a pain and bringing them out to this world is as laborious process as nurturing and growing them up.Just imagine what would've happened if our parents also would've thought the same way.?

You had told me a long time ago to write a post on parents but I did not hear that till today when someone else had to tell me the same thing in a different manner and ofcourse some recent incidents laid a foundation for this.Before I start further,One last and Sincere Apology for not meeting your mom and no matter how much I tell things once happened cannot be changed.So Forgive my thoughts and hopefully me in the process.

Just imagine having one child and attending to it's needs day and night no matter what.It will disturb you during night times,shout at times when you least expect it to do.Slowly you start understanding and interpreting it's cries and happiness.When something makes the child happy,you show it again and again with the only hope of seeing that smile all from the beginning.Right from the day one till this moment if there is something that has never changed and will never change in future it is the care and concern our parents shower on us.Plant a seed and see a tree grow , the amount of satisfaction you get is immeasurable.If becoming a parent is something god-sent then nurturing a child must be sent from other galaxies.First and foremost,I am very grateful to my parents and your parents for being there along the way.I can tell you one thing,No one else in this world can match the love and affection that we get from our parents.Now,parents are one thing and parenting itself is another thing.How would you as a parent know that my child is good and honest and I've brought him/her up well as per my standards and society is ready to accept him/her with open hands?.Unfortunately there is no way to measure how much influence parent's have on their children and the extent to which environment plays a very vital role.While we are happy to inherit some of our characteristics from our parents,there are times when we wish somethings could've been left behind and this can be felt only if you are a parent.You see your child having similar tastes and behavior like you and feel very happy but what if your child makes the same mistake you did when you were a child.Some things never change,Do they?.How can any person love someone unconditionally all the time and without expecting anything in return?.

Did she eat well in the afternoon?

Did he sleep well today?

Today I am doing your favorite dish and it is going to make you feel a lot better.

You do not like this dish,Ok then No one else is going to have this dish from now on in our house.I will tell your father not to buy this vegetable from now on.

You like that dish very much,no problem even if there is nothing left for me.Take it.

Oh,that girl hurt you in college today.Do not worry,I will talk to teacher tomorrow.you were a brave girl today.Now come to mummy and sleep.

Come here and tell me what happened in school today.How was your day?

Imagine a tree with only two fruits with roots and branches spread deep into the earth.You take the fruits thinking both are from the same tree so they must taste the same and must have color and appearance.While in formation,though both were formed from the same seed they are never alike.Ask the one who has planted the seed he will tell which is his/her favorite.If there is a clear winner even in similar fruits,imagine how our parents must've felt on seeing our brother/sister.But they never ever make us feel that way.My mom used to tell my two children are like my two eyes how can you ask which is the one I prefer the most? There is no such thing in this world as a "Bad parent" in the same way there is no "impure raindrop".Understanding the similarities and differences between the two children to whom she had given birth without asking or letting the children know that is the most difficult job and all the parents deserve a nobel prize just for doing that till this very moment.Thinking about parenthood makes me nostalgic and motherhood is something that can never be explained fully unless experienced.I called my mom today and thanked her for bringing me into this world and my father for being there till this day.There is a reason the term "Family tree" came into existence.I'm sure the one who had formulated that had got the idea from the tree which has it's root and branches spread like our mother's affection and the leaves which nurture and protect the fruit from all external difficulties like rain and storm,just the way our father's do all the time and expect nothing from the fruit in return for all of these and one day go into the mud finally after spending entire lifetime in a very short span of time.We can never repay the debt we owe them and no parent expects that.All we can do is give them our love and affection and understand them in the same way they understood us when we ourselves didn't even know the reason why we were smiling/laughing...!!!!!

PS:- Give all the love to them and I'll call by 10 for some.

Apologies my Aphro..Look whls back..no one othe tgan mee

Hii dude,,,

I love youuu more than what I show or what I tell.this is yet again a post but whatever I write in post is very very close to my heart and is meant for you and only you to read.There is one thing dude..I feel like someone is crawling inside my skin when you call me by my name.And I'm sure you do know what kind of person I am without any filters or anything.You can't possibly know about me more than anyone else and anything else.So don't make me do thibggs na .. I'll become very angry dude and I have very erratic mood swings ..Did u know how much I wanted to talk to you today and see you talk lot to u but this stupid people don't give us that space and that's what exactly happened today eve also .And today eve you were gorgeous dude..I tell u that .compare to u in beauty and where am I like an emperor and a pauper.I honesrly want to talk to your mom today before she leaves to Coimbatore and I don't care where and how I'm gonna meet her . You know what's the awkward part is ..I don't know what to tell to her dude..I don't know what to tell in a weeding , if somebody gives berth to a baby and someone dies also.Because it doesn't come at all.But I'm very sorry over what happened today . I don't know ow dude when you don't talk I feel like I've lost something ..silly me na.But still I never ever wanted to hurt you but I was angry over you not telling me that ,2 rs matter .I don't know what ever the issue is but it made me kind of angry and the way today passed was not what I expected.Hell,I'm becoming like a ukg kid waiting to sit next to me crush in school and crying over Sully things.I wanted to talk about all these badly and some WhatsApp fucking call problem happedned.I just want to go a long walk with you as long as sun exists.And one more thing.....Deepak is there and he's asking what's up with Anni..I mean no one else has right to ask about us or you.Youre the only priority and Sorry from my heart ...
I loveeee uuuu duuude
Hope tmrw turns out wellllll