The Story of the Ant and the raindrop on a leaf

Hii Duude,

How are you ? or How good are you must be the question.
Ofcourse who will not be happy in their velliamma's house..I like to imagine your grandma's house to be like the one in Drishyam..Full of trees and that evening weather,small inland roads along with tall coconut trees.If I'm there,I'll tell to them there is someone more cute than you Trees and leaves !! Nothing beats the joy of a good book and good food by the sea shore surrounded by trees in a stormy evening weather.The sound of rain hitting leaves and houses is sweet to hear.Did you know I have an app that produces different types of rain,thunder storm and sea sounds.It's like meditation to me.Anyways this brings me to a small story..!!!

Once upon a time there was an ant who wanted to be hard working and behave as all other ants do.But there was no good fellow ant he could look up to.So he always had different ways of thinking when it came to things.One fine day,after some bitter experiences in life(For ex:- eating rice flour thinking it was powdered sugar) he decided to turn to a new leaf and he chose a bright orange leaf for this purpose and it was in that time he saw towards the sky to see a beautiful raindrop falling.He told to himself "This drop looks very beautiful.Maybe it really is or due to reflection of the surroundings.But I need that drop".To him it was like he was drowning in his world of thoughts and this raindrop has come to save him from all that gloominess.So he just started to wait till the drop reached this leaf but once it reached the leaf,He came to know that the there was a need to push that drop till it reaches the desired spot.Now pushing a drop is a very tough job to do.He imagined talking himself to the leaf and the drop..!!
Leaf told him angrily "You know what,that drop is mine as it landed on me first.In a way I'm totally responsible for it.So make sure it sees no damage!!"
Now it was the drop's turn to talk. "Don't fall for her traps ant,she tells this to all the drops that fall here.Last time the same thing happened to another drop also"
The Ant was confused as hell.So he decided to push the drop slowly towards the end so that he could see what happened to the drop
As he was pushing the drop further he could see the leaf mocking him "See I told you..The faster you try to do this the sooner the drop will disappear"
But the drop told "Do not worry,I will always be strong enough not to be crushed by a ignorant leaf"
He wondered "Can a drop change a leaf?"
After reaching the mid way on the leaf,the ant came to a standstill.The thing he had feared the most had happened.He started becoming a part of drop.It was so apparent because all of his world were of the color of the drop.He could not imagine his life without that drop.Crying only increased his confusion and puzzled him more as he knew he had no control over the drop or the leaf or in whatever direction the end turns out to be.
So he left things as they were for a few hours but it was almost impossible to come out of that drop.
This drop had a habit of using reflections as the only mirror to see the world.So it had to see and hear some ugly things in the meantime and thought the ant will survive only if left alone.The ant thought "How can I explain that reflections are not the reality and they just reflect the character of the source they come from but not the destination and reflections are always reversed by nature".The ant was just sad and got depressed thinking of all this.He even tried talking things out with the drop and finally after so much of pain the drop agreed to the leaf and realized what had went wrong with ant in first place.So is the ant fully clear about the way things had to turn up...Nope and he wants the drop to explain how it did not know the difference between reflections and reality !!!
My my,doesn't it seem like a somewhere heard story....!!
No wonder you think I'm the ant and the leaf is your mind.But then what are the Drop and reflections ?
And the way you think depends on the answer you give to the above question.

Is it her voice or am I talking to a bird

Hii Dude,

Congrats..!!..Did u knew I will call tonight!?.. well,my holiday just got complete.
Here's  a small poem only for your senses!!

What's more precious than the first pearl that a oyster gives?
The hand that takes it or the shell which opens..!!

What's more special than the first raindrop that touches  the earth ?
The cloud that gives it or the sea which it kisses first?

What's  more beautiful than the sun rays touching sunflower ?
The rays that reach the flower or the sunflower  which turns it's  head?

What's more satisfying than the breeze kissing the flowers?
The way the leaves bristle or the way wind  chooses it?

What's more  delightful to watch for a mom?
The moment her child touches the ground or when she hears it calling her "amma" with its voice?

What's more mesmerising to see in my girl which no one else can  do?
The eyes which is reading this or the mind which is thinking how to comprehend it?

What makes me more happy than anyother thing in life?
The memories she gave me or when she talks to me after a long time?

What's more painful to me than me getting Alzheimer's?
Is it when she doesn't  talk to me or when she realizes why she had to do that in first place?

Nothing but thoughts

Hii Dude,

I don't even know what to write.But I cannot be like this for long time.It is killing me from inside.I'm getting continuous headaches and crying like a child and becoming a mad person.If this continues my performance will really start to go down.I do not know what I can tell to you so that you will agree but at least till the time we are here talk to me and allow me to talk to you like before.I do not know what kind of a person I am becoming because of this.Abuse me,hate me or do whatever you want but do not be like this with me.I am not able to take it and it is paining , both literally and figuratively.I have no idea of knowing how you feel about this.Fuck,I am not able to hate you also.It's like being stuck in an endless loop and it has really started to affect my daily routine.I get dreams and nightmares about you and me talking,fighting and all. I've become like an alcohol addict who works in a wine shop.When I was talking to you,nothing else was on my mind but now that I am not talking this is the only thing that is constantly spinning on and on.I've stopped thinking about anything else.I do not know what to do now.This is getting very bad and out of control these days and If I see you daily not talking to you is very very tough and how can I ignore someone on the outside when it is only them I think of on the Inside? What you thought is happening to me if you talk to me is happening now and I cannot even control it.I do not want it to be like this but I'm sure of this.Till now in my life I might have not had that much friends but I've never felt lonely.I know the difference between being lonely and alone.These days I feel like i'm the only one in this world and you know how much I magnify thoughts and feelings.Even Krishna is asking to me why I am not talking to him properly these days.Hell,the only person I'm talking to is myself and keep on thinking what could be done to improve this and to overcome this.I was not like this before and I do not know how to do this.I know you think of me like some prick who never understands what he is told and keeps on torturing you to talk and all.I have not asked like this to anyone in my life and I do not think if i'll do in future also.I know Creating problems as if they are all going to happen is something which I excel at but I do not consider everything is going to happen or not.You might think only this guy can write an entire blogpost to coerce me to talk to him but what I am asking to you is be with me because I do not know what else to tell or do or anything....!!!!

Empty Ness everywhere

Hii Dude,
I'm not even sure I can call you by that name now.Where is the girl who used to talk to me like before..I ask myself.What is the point of writing a blog when you are not willing to read it also ..I thought I wrote only for you but I was dumb enough necer to know what you actually thought about these posts.Now what will I do ..can I stop people from speaking or thinking is something which I can't think of.But you , I thought you'll understand that and you know me better than what other's say.But we both know it is your base character coming out in stressful situations like these.You could've asked me my life instead of asking me to stop talking to u.But  alas,you always manage to get the best and worst out of me so effortlessly.who am I to stop you from your decision to talk to me,right
?..it better be right. . at least one of us will be happy.how was your exam . How's the preparation going ..these
Are
All the
Questions I want to ask u daily..but a poor soul like me still hasn't learn to share emotions either with a stranger or even best friends who are often not there at times of need ..!!..Maybe I was too dependent on you..what is the use of this blog if you don't read or me livin if you're not there.  Cmon dude..don't be stupid ..it happens to people all the time . Maybe  or maybe not but how can a person be like me..!!..,at times I think I've lost sanity .. it'll be better and im so bad that I don't even qualify to be your friend.Shes is not even ready to give her friendship,you poor asshole aren't u ashamed of asking her again and again. !!  just go and die somewhere ..Okey . But if I die my loVe fr u will) also be crushed na ..So no thoughts like  that .how u made fun of me  nd ,how excited I was when u told we'll go for Jan we met s ehal.. what happened in the end ..lol ..

Influence of Opinions,sometimes with Options

Hii Darling,

I've loved you
I love you
I will love you.

I did not want to give that title to this post but I felt it was the only apt one which I could give.Yesterday I thought too many times about what is happening here and the Opinions of others to which we should never give a flying fuck no matter what happens.If you think that it's because of you I am not performing well,I'm sorry dude your notion is entirely wrong.How I perform and why I perform that way is entirely upto me and it is me who needs to have last thoughts about this and no one else,that includes you also upto a certain degree.Sit back and think of all these,if we accept what you are telling is true.

Have you ever told me to spend time with you and only you?
Did u tell me to call at nights or text you always?
Did u ask me to write the posts?
Did u tell me to give you gifts?
Remember the first gift I gave you,nail polish remover..Who told me to do that?..What was my intention behind giving that?..The answer to this question is there was no intention.
Did u ask me to teach Ops or BRM?
Did u call me for long walks and deep talks?
Did u fight with me over small unimportant things?
Did u ever ask me to stop drinking and call you ?
Did u call me to Nandi hills or movies at any point of time?
Did u ask me to observe your hair,smell,nail polish and even the small bruises you get?
Have you ever asked me why I get more marks than you ?

You might think all of these do not make sense but do me a favour and replace all the "Did you's" with "I did" and it all makes perfect sense.
Even now also if you think this is what happens,we definitely need to have a talk not because I want to convince you but to make you understand how important you are to me over all the other things in my life

Boundaries-Day and night-Mowgli and Aphro

Hii Dearest,
The time when evening becomes night is my most favorite time of the day.The times when I get to witness that without any disturbance will be considered as "A day with more productivity" by my standards.What is so special about this , you might ask.Judging by the things I've been telling you all this time, even if I tell that I was an Egyptian emperor in last birth,you would believe and then think not think and then believe.Thats a story for another day, but Translation from day to night makes many things lose their identity and some things to gain identity.There are some things which are visible only during night times,like stars and then there are things which make themselves visible only during the night time,hi-fi to my friend moon over there!! how much ever we try can we look at the stars during the daytime or enjoy the warm glow the moon light offers during day time.Unfortunate , but some things are like that.
Yes, Alright but how are these and boundaries related duude ?
Isn't this typical you relating to things only you want to relate yourself to ignoring the others !! ?
What you think might be true to an extent but there is always a relationship,but not complicated as ours.
We'll come to boundaries now.
Once upon a Time our Mowgli and Aphro were talking and Mowgli couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong.He had always trusted his instincts and asked Aphro what was wrong.As they neared a village,They decided to stay in a place where they had some mutual friends of both.In that village he saw a shop which sold writings of a famous blogger on a leaf and decided to surprise her.So he bought the one which had a beautiful poem which went like "You are the reader...".But when he went to her and gave the leaf , she wouldn't accept it.This really hurt Mowgli and upon further enquiry she told him that there was a big bad wolf which ate all the gifts she got.It came out only at night times and in her difficult times making them even worse.As it was a nice day for a little walk Mowgli decided to find that wolf and solve the problem till the end.She also warned him that since in this village people know everyone and everything , there were quicksands that pulled people deep inside them during difficult times and she really did not want him to go digging around for wolves.But does Mowgli listen to anyone, especially when it comes to Aphro ?..Nope.So he ventured to find the wolf.It was a nice day when he started his journey but as he went deeper into the problem night started creeping out and by the time it was dark,Mowgli heard a wolf trying to scare someone who was already in a quicksand pit.On getting further closer he was shocked to find the person was the one whom he'd not expected.It was Aphro.
"What are you doing here!?" said Mowgli
"I'm trying to scare the wolf away" she said
"Just great.But looks like you're the one caught in a Quagmire here,dear" said Mowgli
"Shut up.its not like that.If not like this,when will I learn.This has to happen someday na" she told
"Moreover you're here only because you heard the wolf,you didn't know it was me.since it is night time you found me so soon" she quipped
"Oh Dear,I didn't come here due to the wolf or since it is night.I simply followed you to know what happened to my gifts" Mowgli told
"There was a big bad wolf,agreed but it is you who is feeding all my gifts in the hope that it will  leave you" Mowgli told
"See where that has brought you"Mowgli told
"You don't get it that's how it works for me" she told
"I get it because it's you and the gift is mine"Mowgli told
"So what will you do to the wolf once you pull me from here" she asked
"Simple on top , complicated in bottom.like a tempest in a tea cup"Mowgli told
"Oh you and your lines,better drown me in this quicksand"
"Haha..There are wolves and there are wolves that scare you.Others can be left alone.But for those which scare you,I have two options"
"What are those?" She asked as she came up from the pit and felt slightly better now.
"Well, it's very simple.Destroy the wolf or create a new Quagmire"Mowgli told
"See,I don't want you to hurt the wolf coz of me and you're here crossing all the boundaries" she told
"Oh trust me,you really do not know the wolf I'm feeding and boundaries not only limit things,they also bring more focus" told Mowgli and howled like a wolf.
"I just hope I never land in a Quagmire of wolves"Aphro thought to herself and set off into the bright beautiful day !!!

You-Yes Only U

Hii Duude,

I was just thinking what to write for a while and then I remembered It has been a long time I have written about you.Now writing about you can be a bit tricky.How much ever I write about you I always feel there is more to explore so I just allow my thoughts to touch the shore but not deep into the sea bed.We never know what creature lurks behind the comfortable mud holes.I honestly do not know whether you feel like that about yourself.Having said that there is a poem which forms the crux of this post.Here it goes...

You are the reader who likes mistakes in the post she is reading
You are the narrator who infuses new life into whatever you tell
You are the influencer who can move my thoughts like a flower in a storm
You are the girl who likes to be independent in whatever you do but fail to understand it starts with a small amount of dependency
You are "my dude" to whom I can tell everything without any fear or judgement
You are one amongst few people who can play with emotions like a child does with her toys
You are the only person to whom I look upto no matter what the situation is
You are the one to whom I would love to give troubles and then save you from them without any second thought
You are the one whom I will never make to fall unless I am there to catch you
You are the one who makes me feel like I'm living in a dream from which I never want to wake up and now the rest of world does not matter as much as it used to
You and me are the only things that matter and all the other life's problems are smaller than once they were
All I ever want to do is just take your hand and walk you through my dreams just to show you that what I still live for is only you and me !!