Imagine a situation like this..
Two guys are studying the same class. We will call them as G & H.One day both of them get into a quarrel where in G calls H as "Bastard-Son of a bitch".G knows it is a bad word but doesn't know what it means,yet.On hearing this H gets offended and complaints to the PT(Physical Training) teacher in the school and she takes him to ClassTeacher.The ClassTeacher asks G "How can you tell the word without knowing it's meaning and it is a derogatory word not to be used in school premises".G didn't have the balls to tell that it was thought to him by his cousin's in their grandparent's 60th anniversary function at thirukadaiyur the previous night.G stands simply infront of the teacher not knowing what to tell and is ashamed of himself.After getting enough scoldings from PT teacher and ClassTeacher,G is told to go and sit down in class for the whole day,as punishment.G also accepts this and sits.But internally he is very angry and takes the divider and compass from his geometry box with the sheer force of his angry thoughts,he starts to bend it and breaks it into pieces.By the end of the period,he succeeds but did not notice the sharp part of compass piercing into his legs.On finding blood from his legs,he takes the turkey towel which he uses as a table spread during the lunch period and wraps it around the wounded area to stop bleeding and removes the needle as well from his flesh.And then when the bleeding finally stops in evening , before going home he takes the blood soaked towel and disposes it in garbage dump on his way home and makes a cut in his pants so that it matches the size of the wound.Going home he tells that the bleeding was due to a rusted nail in sitting bench and it stuck him when he was got up during interval break.
G has not spoken to H after that incident.
Hii,
Welcome to my school life and the "G" in the above story is none other than me , Gautham. Till date No one knows of that incident. Of course,people might know upto me getting scoldings from PT teacher and coming back to class . After that whatever happened is strictly confidential,till now.I still do not know what happened to me in that 45 mins time and how many times I have tried to bend Compass and Divider in the way I did that day I am not able to do it.That was one of the few times in my life where I get real angry. , my thoughts or emotions never show up or I haven't met any one who reads me that much well till now.On the other hand,I make sure that that much of anger threshold is not attained anymore.I have succeeded till now , though partially ...I am much better at dissipating my angry thoughts in a better way.
I came to my school when I was about to study 3rd standard from Bangalore.An average student with no serious interest for any subjects and a quiet boy who does not likes to get involved himself in any of activities happening was what teachers told to my parents just before 12th standard public exam , during parent-teachers meet.PRINCE MATRICULATION HIGHER SECONDARY SCHOOL is the name of my school.Our school did not emphasize much on sports and extra curricular activities but studies was of utmost priority.But it does not make things easier for an average kid like me.More than school I loved to come to home(A thing that has not changed till now !!) and just to see my mom . I will tell what all happened in school that day.My father used to teach me language(Tamil) subject in the terrace of our flat and the sound of his beating would reach flats present in ground floor.( We were living in 1st floor BTW.).Maths and Chemistry were the two subjects which I hated the most ..Maybe due to teachers or due to lack of interest IDK.Still,I always used to score just pass marks needed in two of them.GK and History always remain close to my heart mostly due to my liking towards that subject teachers.When I was studying 6th standard,I had a good time in our school's annual science exhibition where I roamed all day with two girl class mates of mine.It was fun seeing all the science projects , chemical reactions , horror shows and it was like a festival for our school.I used to listen to speech of great poets and scholars who came there as guests.I lost touch with them eventually , as it happens always.I thought these people will be my best friends through out life.LIFE must have been laughing at me from shadows.Then the Angry Compass Thingy happened in VI-C.One funny thing about our school is that till VI we were co-ed and in VII me , along with 4 boys were transferred to another section from VII-A to VII-C for a reason I do not understand till now.But it was in that class I become a top 10 rank getting student.I used to get 7th and 6th ranks , from 21st rank which was in previous sections.It made everyone happier and my parents thought my child had finally reached his true potential and will not stop excelling from now on.But it also did not last for a long time.When the all boys class became co ed again in VIII standard , I became average again.I was transferred to VIII E2 .We used to tease a girl called Meenakshi priya by telling a boy's name from another class and she'd turnback and smile at us everytime we told that.I was sitting in last bench along with another boy called Pravin Kumar.It was in this class I met one boy called Athipathi Raj and he had a hospital in his name in our area.I thought how cool is that and he used to bring nice dishes for lunch and give all to me . He had crush on another girl from one class and I used to accompany him daily to see her.I did not have the thing needed to talk to girls and I remain like that even now.I have the fear of talking and I loathe small talks .I never wanted to know "What's up & how's life going now" to people whom I barely know.It never bothered me till one incident which happened pretty recently.I used to love Scarlet pimpernel and Ramayan told during Non Detail English and Hindi periods.I used to read the entire book in one sitting not waiting for the teacher to complete it in the weekly - one period which we had at that time for non detail.It was on every thursday and I would wait for those day to come.Then Xth standard exams came and I thought if I studied and got good marks now..My entire life will have only happiness.How foolish of me to think like that.Still I used to go to tuition to one Maths teacher to whom I owe my entire life to.Because of her only,I got good marks in Maths.I was able to score 89.5% in that exam.I remember my mom making sweets and bajji on that day to celebrate this achievement of mine.I father also called all of his colleagues to tell this news.I saw this result in a internet cafe near to our school and till the result came on screen , the thought of failures chased me and I was very very happy that I got this marks.For a boy who got 70/200 in school model exams and getting 180-ish marks in end term is a very huge task.I thanked that teacher and she also invited us to her marriage.I was the happiest child in that time.But I lost my dear friend to Mark Monster.I took Computer Science and he took Commerce because he got less than 80%.Only students above 80% took computer science or biology and it was a rule in our school.I did not know the difference between biology and computer science ,course-wise or decision-wise.I just took Computer science and thought life is almost good when teachers in XI told this is the year where you can relax because the big daddy XII is just around the corner.It was in this time that I two people who remain best friends with me till now and I'm mostly glad for that.We all used to sit in the same bench and rarely talked with the opposite sex.The other two were consistent rank holders from UKG and used to get within first three ranks always.Then there is me...!!!...Still I was very happy and to get ready for next phase of battle I had to go to tuition for Maths - Physics - Chemistry . We were fortunate enough to have tutored by same people who co-authored our books.5000 per year was the fees and since maths was not good ,I studied it in another place.This was my schedule for one and half year,the whole of my 12th standard.
Wake up - 4.30(Ofcourse,AM)
Maths tuition-5
School tuition - 7
School 9-4
School tuition 4.30-7
The initial honeymoon period was good but towards the end I lost interest in all subjects and started bunking all the tuition classes.We used to have 4 model tests before the final public exam.I somehow managed to get 86% in public exam and credits go to my tuition teachers and some school teachers.It was during this age that I had first porn watching experience.I remember going to one friend's house to study for Chemistry and half waay through we both lost interest in it.His brother had got him a PC with a good internet connection.We stumbled upon 69.com through some universal conspiracy and then saw two naked people fucking each other.Instantly,I felt gross and felt like puking but it did not leave my mind till the exam got over.It continues till now.I do not feel like puking now but It was my top addiction and stress reliever and I had a tough time changing it to Books.Though it is not like before,it does c(u)ome from time to time !!!
I always have a thought in back of my mind from time to time...
What if I had spoken to many people and developed many connections in school,Will I be the person I am now , atleast you'd have gotten rid of me....!!!!!
Two guys are studying the same class. We will call them as G & H.One day both of them get into a quarrel where in G calls H as "Bastard-Son of a bitch".G knows it is a bad word but doesn't know what it means,yet.On hearing this H gets offended and complaints to the PT(Physical Training) teacher in the school and she takes him to ClassTeacher.The ClassTeacher asks G "How can you tell the word without knowing it's meaning and it is a derogatory word not to be used in school premises".G didn't have the balls to tell that it was thought to him by his cousin's in their grandparent's 60th anniversary function at thirukadaiyur the previous night.G stands simply infront of the teacher not knowing what to tell and is ashamed of himself.After getting enough scoldings from PT teacher and ClassTeacher,G is told to go and sit down in class for the whole day,as punishment.G also accepts this and sits.But internally he is very angry and takes the divider and compass from his geometry box with the sheer force of his angry thoughts,he starts to bend it and breaks it into pieces.By the end of the period,he succeeds but did not notice the sharp part of compass piercing into his legs.On finding blood from his legs,he takes the turkey towel which he uses as a table spread during the lunch period and wraps it around the wounded area to stop bleeding and removes the needle as well from his flesh.And then when the bleeding finally stops in evening , before going home he takes the blood soaked towel and disposes it in garbage dump on his way home and makes a cut in his pants so that it matches the size of the wound.Going home he tells that the bleeding was due to a rusted nail in sitting bench and it stuck him when he was got up during interval break.
G has not spoken to H after that incident.
Hii,
Welcome to my school life and the "G" in the above story is none other than me , Gautham. Till date No one knows of that incident. Of course,people might know upto me getting scoldings from PT teacher and coming back to class . After that whatever happened is strictly confidential,till now.I still do not know what happened to me in that 45 mins time and how many times I have tried to bend Compass and Divider in the way I did that day I am not able to do it.That was one of the few times in my life where I get real angry. , my thoughts or emotions never show up or I haven't met any one who reads me that much well till now.On the other hand,I make sure that that much of anger threshold is not attained anymore.I have succeeded till now , though partially ...I am much better at dissipating my angry thoughts in a better way.
I came to my school when I was about to study 3rd standard from Bangalore.An average student with no serious interest for any subjects and a quiet boy who does not likes to get involved himself in any of activities happening was what teachers told to my parents just before 12th standard public exam , during parent-teachers meet.PRINCE MATRICULATION HIGHER SECONDARY SCHOOL is the name of my school.Our school did not emphasize much on sports and extra curricular activities but studies was of utmost priority.But it does not make things easier for an average kid like me.More than school I loved to come to home(A thing that has not changed till now !!) and just to see my mom . I will tell what all happened in school that day.My father used to teach me language(Tamil) subject in the terrace of our flat and the sound of his beating would reach flats present in ground floor.( We were living in 1st floor BTW.).Maths and Chemistry were the two subjects which I hated the most ..Maybe due to teachers or due to lack of interest IDK.Still,I always used to score just pass marks needed in two of them.GK and History always remain close to my heart mostly due to my liking towards that subject teachers.When I was studying 6th standard,I had a good time in our school's annual science exhibition where I roamed all day with two girl class mates of mine.It was fun seeing all the science projects , chemical reactions , horror shows and it was like a festival for our school.I used to listen to speech of great poets and scholars who came there as guests.I lost touch with them eventually , as it happens always.I thought these people will be my best friends through out life.LIFE must have been laughing at me from shadows.Then the Angry Compass Thingy happened in VI-C.One funny thing about our school is that till VI we were co-ed and in VII me , along with 4 boys were transferred to another section from VII-A to VII-C for a reason I do not understand till now.But it was in that class I become a top 10 rank getting student.I used to get 7th and 6th ranks , from 21st rank which was in previous sections.It made everyone happier and my parents thought my child had finally reached his true potential and will not stop excelling from now on.But it also did not last for a long time.When the all boys class became co ed again in VIII standard , I became average again.I was transferred to VIII E2 .We used to tease a girl called Meenakshi priya by telling a boy's name from another class and she'd turnback and smile at us everytime we told that.I was sitting in last bench along with another boy called Pravin Kumar.It was in this class I met one boy called Athipathi Raj and he had a hospital in his name in our area.I thought how cool is that and he used to bring nice dishes for lunch and give all to me . He had crush on another girl from one class and I used to accompany him daily to see her.I did not have the thing needed to talk to girls and I remain like that even now.I have the fear of talking and I loathe small talks .I never wanted to know "What's up & how's life going now" to people whom I barely know.It never bothered me till one incident which happened pretty recently.I used to love Scarlet pimpernel and Ramayan told during Non Detail English and Hindi periods.I used to read the entire book in one sitting not waiting for the teacher to complete it in the weekly - one period which we had at that time for non detail.It was on every thursday and I would wait for those day to come.Then Xth standard exams came and I thought if I studied and got good marks now..My entire life will have only happiness.How foolish of me to think like that.Still I used to go to tuition to one Maths teacher to whom I owe my entire life to.Because of her only,I got good marks in Maths.I was able to score 89.5% in that exam.I remember my mom making sweets and bajji on that day to celebrate this achievement of mine.I father also called all of his colleagues to tell this news.I saw this result in a internet cafe near to our school and till the result came on screen , the thought of failures chased me and I was very very happy that I got this marks.For a boy who got 70/200 in school model exams and getting 180-ish marks in end term is a very huge task.I thanked that teacher and she also invited us to her marriage.I was the happiest child in that time.But I lost my dear friend to Mark Monster.I took Computer Science and he took Commerce because he got less than 80%.Only students above 80% took computer science or biology and it was a rule in our school.I did not know the difference between biology and computer science ,course-wise or decision-wise.I just took Computer science and thought life is almost good when teachers in XI told this is the year where you can relax because the big daddy XII is just around the corner.It was in this time that I two people who remain best friends with me till now and I'm mostly glad for that.We all used to sit in the same bench and rarely talked with the opposite sex.The other two were consistent rank holders from UKG and used to get within first three ranks always.Then there is me...!!!...Still I was very happy and to get ready for next phase of battle I had to go to tuition for Maths - Physics - Chemistry . We were fortunate enough to have tutored by same people who co-authored our books.5000 per year was the fees and since maths was not good ,I studied it in another place.This was my schedule for one and half year,the whole of my 12th standard.
Wake up - 4.30(Ofcourse,AM)
Maths tuition-5
School tuition - 7
School 9-4
School tuition 4.30-7
The initial honeymoon period was good but towards the end I lost interest in all subjects and started bunking all the tuition classes.We used to have 4 model tests before the final public exam.I somehow managed to get 86% in public exam and credits go to my tuition teachers and some school teachers.It was during this age that I had first porn watching experience.I remember going to one friend's house to study for Chemistry and half waay through we both lost interest in it.His brother had got him a PC with a good internet connection.We stumbled upon 69.com through some universal conspiracy and then saw two naked people fucking each other.Instantly,I felt gross and felt like puking but it did not leave my mind till the exam got over.It continues till now.I do not feel like puking now but It was my top addiction and stress reliever and I had a tough time changing it to Books.Though it is not like before,it does c(u)ome from time to time !!!
I always have a thought in back of my mind from time to time...
What if I had spoken to many people and developed many connections in school,Will I be the person I am now , atleast you'd have gotten rid of me....!!!!!
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