Hii There,
I did not write for a long time because somehow words were flowing like before.Even now,I am writing because I do not know how long it will be like how it is now.These days nothing excites me and there is nothing I look forward to.I have run away from bangalore and have started to work here in Chennai.Whenever I think of Bangalore,I am not able to erase the memories which torment me all the time.I've become so used to being like this that I do not think I would be able to allow someone else this closer in my life.I try not to think much of the past and live the way addicts do..One day at a time.I feel sad all of a sudden for no reason and sometimes feel like crying for no reason at all.I'm reading more fiction and non fiction books to cope up.But looks like the If's and But's would never leave me alone.What if I had done this like that ? What If I could've handled it in a better way ? What was I lacking ? .. All these are very tough and ugly questions which I always tell people to avoid.Yet here I am not practicing what I preach.I am not sure what I've lost but what fears me the most is I find my future very dark and uninspiring.
I did not write for a long time because somehow words were flowing like before.Even now,I am writing because I do not know how long it will be like how it is now.These days nothing excites me and there is nothing I look forward to.I have run away from bangalore and have started to work here in Chennai.Whenever I think of Bangalore,I am not able to erase the memories which torment me all the time.I've become so used to being like this that I do not think I would be able to allow someone else this closer in my life.I try not to think much of the past and live the way addicts do..One day at a time.I feel sad all of a sudden for no reason and sometimes feel like crying for no reason at all.I'm reading more fiction and non fiction books to cope up.But looks like the If's and But's would never leave me alone.What if I had done this like that ? What If I could've handled it in a better way ? What was I lacking ? .. All these are very tough and ugly questions which I always tell people to avoid.Yet here I am not practicing what I preach.I am not sure what I've lost but what fears me the most is I find my future very dark and uninspiring.
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