Hii there,
It has been sometime since I've written.It feels good to be back.Some days go so well that I think of what went on in past only once or twice.But there are many other days when a small piece of memory from the past creates havoc in my present.I was going through old photos for some other purpose and I stumbled upon a photo of her.My heart just skipped a beat and I become like a addict who just realized his drug supply is not going to last forever.Instantaneously,tears start flowing from my eyes and I get hit hard by memories in my head in a way that a 18 wheelar truck just hits when someone is riding along the highway.I just wait for sometime so that I will make myself think something else and tell to myself this is just a passing cloud.People fall in and out of love the way a dispenser throws up a piece of chocolate when you insert a 10 rupee coin.But I've always told people that no matter how hard you hold on to your memories,time will just wash them away or replace them.It is fascinating to find here,I am struggling to do the exact same thing and one second of thought just takes me back to many months back in time.She was my "Maaya" (a) "Magik" who seems to be casting her spell even when she has left me.Someone tells me about coimbatore I think about seeing her in a "I don't know what blue kinda dress" and looking everywhere like a confused person,so that I get to see her before everyone else.I did not want anyone to see her so beautifully before I did,I was selfish in that way I suppose.It is these kind of memories that haunt me and surprisingly one utterance of some random thing/place/event by someone is all that it takes to take me back to her.I think of all the nights and walks I spent with her.I go to college under the pretext of seeing juniors just to look at the room she stayed and the places we've argued and walked together.I get the feeling that those places want to know what happened to us now but It seems almost impossible to tell that it all had to end at someplace.It somehow feels like betraying all the memories of that place and her that I have till now.Such is the nature of some memories that they demand a share of pain as a way of entry and exit ticket.Why do I have to revive every memory of mine with a drop of pain,I wonder and then realize It is fine to pay the price of whatever it asks for,for memories are all the things I've of her and each time I remember her I am trying to disappear into her one memory at a time and the only way to forget her fully is by making sure that I get numb to the pain or to the memories,which I am not sure when it i going to happen in sometime or happen at all !!!
It has been sometime since I've written.It feels good to be back.Some days go so well that I think of what went on in past only once or twice.But there are many other days when a small piece of memory from the past creates havoc in my present.I was going through old photos for some other purpose and I stumbled upon a photo of her.My heart just skipped a beat and I become like a addict who just realized his drug supply is not going to last forever.Instantaneously,tears start flowing from my eyes and I get hit hard by memories in my head in a way that a 18 wheelar truck just hits when someone is riding along the highway.I just wait for sometime so that I will make myself think something else and tell to myself this is just a passing cloud.People fall in and out of love the way a dispenser throws up a piece of chocolate when you insert a 10 rupee coin.But I've always told people that no matter how hard you hold on to your memories,time will just wash them away or replace them.It is fascinating to find here,I am struggling to do the exact same thing and one second of thought just takes me back to many months back in time.She was my "Maaya" (a) "Magik" who seems to be casting her spell even when she has left me.Someone tells me about coimbatore I think about seeing her in a "I don't know what blue kinda dress" and looking everywhere like a confused person,so that I get to see her before everyone else.I did not want anyone to see her so beautifully before I did,I was selfish in that way I suppose.It is these kind of memories that haunt me and surprisingly one utterance of some random thing/place/event by someone is all that it takes to take me back to her.I think of all the nights and walks I spent with her.I go to college under the pretext of seeing juniors just to look at the room she stayed and the places we've argued and walked together.I get the feeling that those places want to know what happened to us now but It seems almost impossible to tell that it all had to end at someplace.It somehow feels like betraying all the memories of that place and her that I have till now.Such is the nature of some memories that they demand a share of pain as a way of entry and exit ticket.Why do I have to revive every memory of mine with a drop of pain,I wonder and then realize It is fine to pay the price of whatever it asks for,for memories are all the things I've of her and each time I remember her I am trying to disappear into her one memory at a time and the only way to forget her fully is by making sure that I get numb to the pain or to the memories,which I am not sure when it i going to happen in sometime or happen at all !!!
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