Hii to whomsoever is reading this...,
"Listen..I've to tell you something..I'm seeing someone from the past 1 and half months.He is my senior from school.He came to Coimbatore to see me and he was interested in me." told the only girl whom I thought will be till the end of my life.But hey,life has it's own way of teaching you things,right?
"So he proposed and what did u tell?" I asked,like a patient who doesn't have oxygen but still has hope to live
"Well...I also told yes" was the reply that she gave.
"He is working in Chennai and we like each other" she told..
"Maybe she is trying to play a trick on me .. you know" is how my pathetic mind thinks
"She called you only to tell this,dumbo" tells my brain
What will you do in a moment like this..I do not know what you will do but I know what I will do or at least what I thought I must 've done.
I thought of abandoning everything and running away somewhere from everything.Abandoning,my friend has a very interesting twist to it.What can I abandon when I feel my life has been abandoned by the only one I gave control to do that..?
Should I abandon this land , this place or abandon my life all together?...These depressing thoughts are not something which go away from my mind easily.I think of drinking something and taking my life.I mean,people like me do not deserve to live in this earth,do they?......You might think dying is not a way out but trust me,sometimes dying seems to be the best way rather than this living this hell.
2 months and just an interest was all that was enough to make her fall for someone else.So think how much ever you do,in the end physical appearance is what counts...Did u understand that dickhead,stupid dumbo and no one wants to love a fatso like you who can be exceptionally beautiful inside but outside is what decides many things here.....Just get that first into your head.We are at an important juncture in my life I suppose..Some lessons are best learnt the hard way. This must one of those lessons I guess.What is going to happen in the next 24 hours is very crucial...I've finally decided to concentrate on the one thing I've been ignoring for the past 24 years.It is my physical appearance.Being very beautiful on the inside is not something people are able to understand even after they get to know you for months.Handling memories is something which I've to get used to.
What happens to those late night calls and all those chat messages which you shared...?
Well...They're just down the drain..that's it..If you'd been good looking certainly she would've accepted na..only because you're like this she didn't accept.Whatever happens,you needed a girl and your love to tell to you that appearances matter.So get this clear into your head...Start working on that and just see how things are waiting at the end of the road..!!!..And being someone whom no one can understand that is not going to help you...Be nice,friendly but be good looking first..Why should I go and die...(here is when things get more interesting!!)....To have rejected me she must go and die somewhere...That bitch...(Oh Sorry,sorry you're not the kind who takes revenge and abuses someone,remember)...But what to do now..The situation is like that...I just hope he deserts he like the way she did it to me or her parents do not accept their love or he runs away after making her pregnant or how about he abusing her with his love!!...Now that would be fun,wouldn't it?....For 6 months,you've no other job other than working on your appearance..But the thing is you've to see her face daily in class but that is a good thing,isn't it..It's a way of keeping the scar fresh in mind even though it has healed physically.Should I publish this or not is the next million dollar question lurking in my mind.Will it be like revenge,if I publish this...What if she reads this and gets to know how bad my thoughts drive us(meaning my brain and mind)..Well..it is something to consider..So let me tell you something..This will not be published now..But someday I'll surely do it and this will happen only when transformation happens !!!!...
"Listen..I've to tell you something..I'm seeing someone from the past 1 and half months.He is my senior from school.He came to Coimbatore to see me and he was interested in me." told the only girl whom I thought will be till the end of my life.But hey,life has it's own way of teaching you things,right?
"So he proposed and what did u tell?" I asked,like a patient who doesn't have oxygen but still has hope to live
"Well...I also told yes" was the reply that she gave.
"He is working in Chennai and we like each other" she told..
"Maybe she is trying to play a trick on me .. you know" is how my pathetic mind thinks
"She called you only to tell this,dumbo" tells my brain
What will you do in a moment like this..I do not know what you will do but I know what I will do or at least what I thought I must 've done.
I thought of abandoning everything and running away somewhere from everything.Abandoning,my friend has a very interesting twist to it.What can I abandon when I feel my life has been abandoned by the only one I gave control to do that..?
Should I abandon this land , this place or abandon my life all together?...These depressing thoughts are not something which go away from my mind easily.I think of drinking something and taking my life.I mean,people like me do not deserve to live in this earth,do they?......You might think dying is not a way out but trust me,sometimes dying seems to be the best way rather than this living this hell.
2 months and just an interest was all that was enough to make her fall for someone else.So think how much ever you do,in the end physical appearance is what counts...Did u understand that dickhead,stupid dumbo and no one wants to love a fatso like you who can be exceptionally beautiful inside but outside is what decides many things here.....Just get that first into your head.We are at an important juncture in my life I suppose..Some lessons are best learnt the hard way. This must one of those lessons I guess.What is going to happen in the next 24 hours is very crucial...I've finally decided to concentrate on the one thing I've been ignoring for the past 24 years.It is my physical appearance.Being very beautiful on the inside is not something people are able to understand even after they get to know you for months.Handling memories is something which I've to get used to.
What happens to those late night calls and all those chat messages which you shared...?
Well...They're just down the drain..that's it..If you'd been good looking certainly she would've accepted na..only because you're like this she didn't accept.Whatever happens,you needed a girl and your love to tell to you that appearances matter.So get this clear into your head...Start working on that and just see how things are waiting at the end of the road..!!!..And being someone whom no one can understand that is not going to help you...Be nice,friendly but be good looking first..Why should I go and die...(here is when things get more interesting!!)....To have rejected me she must go and die somewhere...That bitch...(Oh Sorry,sorry you're not the kind who takes revenge and abuses someone,remember)...But what to do now..The situation is like that...I just hope he deserts he like the way she did it to me or her parents do not accept their love or he runs away after making her pregnant or how about he abusing her with his love!!...Now that would be fun,wouldn't it?....For 6 months,you've no other job other than working on your appearance..But the thing is you've to see her face daily in class but that is a good thing,isn't it..It's a way of keeping the scar fresh in mind even though it has healed physically.Should I publish this or not is the next million dollar question lurking in my mind.Will it be like revenge,if I publish this...What if she reads this and gets to know how bad my thoughts drive us(meaning my brain and mind)..Well..it is something to consider..So let me tell you something..This will not be published now..But someday I'll surely do it and this will happen only when transformation happens !!!!...
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